• BLOG
  • Home
  • about
  • CONTACT
    • 2018 Advent Devotional
    • 2019 ADVENT DEVOTIONAL
Menu

gentle leading

Street Address
City, State, Zip
Phone Number
the riches of Christ for realities of the young mom

Your Custom Text Here

gentle leading

  • BLOG
  • Home
  • about
  • CONTACT
  • ADVENT
    • 2018 Advent Devotional
    • 2019 ADVENT DEVOTIONAL

"Should Be," "Would Be," and the Hope of What "Will Be"

July 20, 2017 Abbey Wedgeworth
0D4_8941.jpg
“If God can be in control of the cross with all of its sin and all of its horror and pain, then he can be in control of our pain and horror.

If we try to rescue God from his sovereignty and take away from him his involvement in the pain that just came in to our lives, we also lose God’s present power to turn the pain for good. The price of denying God his sovereignty over pain is too high to pay. To lose him as sovereign and loving.. is to lose your hope for the future.”
— John Piper
“The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;
the LORD sits enthroned as king forever.
May the LORD give strength to his people!
May the LORD bless his people with peace!”
— Psalm 29:10-11
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.”
— Proverbs 3:5-6

"SHOULD BE."

One of the joys of learning of our most recent pregnancy was the discovery of all of the women I loved with whom I would be pregnant. I would be a few weeks apart from several friends and only 3 weeks from my beloved sister, Jami. After the loss of this pregnancy, that joy became a bit of a hardship. Each time I would hear one of these sweet friends reference how many weeks they were, I would subconsciously calculate how far along we would be had our little one continued to grow. These subconscious thoughts fell like rain on seeds of bitterness and gave birth to the thought "I should be __ weeks pregnant."

My first period came. I shouldn't be bleeding. I should be pregnant. 

We talked about "trying again" and considered waiting longer. I shouldn't be having this conversation. I should be due in November.

Friends announced their pregnancies. My second child should be older than theirs. 

Time passed. Will aged. But my babies should be 21 months apart. 

Another Cycle. I shouldn't be releasing another egg, I should still be growing a baby.

 

After listening to this bitter processing for a few months, my husband graciously pointed out the words I was choosing. He asked me how I thought they related to my belief in God's sovereignty... and I'm so grateful for his gentle, probing way of speaking the truth in love. My words revealed my unbelief. His word reveals the truth.

"WOULD BE."

In a perfect world, one where Adam and Eve had not eaten the forbidden fruit, there would be no death and no loss... so, no, this is not what God designed for the world and in that sense, none of the stories we hear of death, sickness, hardship and loss "should be" happening. But the reality is, we do live in a fallen world, and however difficult it may be to understand, God is still sovereign over it. He still holds the pen that writes our stories. 

He allows bad things to happen, and he somehow works them for our good (Rom 8:28).

My husband's kind suggestion to consider my word use was the vehicle that drove me from the third/fourth stage of grief to the fifth; from bargaining and depression, to acceptance; reluctantly acknowledging and imperfectly embracing the sovereign and perfect will of a Good Father for our family. 

If our baby's heart had not stopped beating, I would be about 20 weeks now. I would undoubtedly be wearing maternity clothes. I would likely know his or her gender and be sewing matching outfits for Will and his little brother or sister. But God in his love for our family allowed our baby to leave my womb at what would have been 12 weeks. If I truly stop and consider his character and love for his children and then couple it with the knowledge of his sovereignty I cannot continue to use the language "should be." I cannot say that I know better than what he has omnisciently purposed for my life.

If I was supposed to be 20 weeks pregnant, I would be.

But I am not.

This is the lot God has given our family and trusting him means embracing the fact that our present reality is what "should be" because it is what is. This is his best for us. He knew all of my days before I was born, even the one where this little life left my body.

"WILL BE"

I am convinced that he grieved our loss with us; that although he allows it, sin, pain, and death wreaking havoc on the "good" world he created causes him great pain. Thats why he sent his Son Jesus. To make the sadness untrue by redeeming it, so that one day all could be restored to what would be had his children only listened. I long for that eternal day now more than ever, when all will be as we all have felt it should be. And he intends that it will. He promises that restoration.

My friend in Jesus, I don't know where you sit as you read this. I don't know what way you may be experiencing the ache of sin or brokenness. Maybe you have lost a child, a spouse, or a pregnancy; maybe you're in physical pain from injury or strain; maybe you are in a disappointing marriage or despairing over the sickness or behavior of your children... regardless I would imagine that there is something in your life that you feel "should be" different.

Let me encourage you, dear sister: There is no better set of circumstances for your ultimate good than that which he has given you and there is no greater gift for you than the eternity which he has promised. Set your hope in his goodness and sovereign care, even if your understanding (like mine) can't quite get there. Set your hope in the finished work of Jesus that has secured your inheritance, finally and forever.

 

 

← The Dishwasher and the Design for DiscipleshipCommiseration vs. Counsel →

PREVIOUS POSTS

Featured
DSC_5433.jpg
Aug 27, 2019
Nothing to Prove: Gospel Encouragement for the Mom Who Suspects Postpartum Depression or Anxiety
Aug 27, 2019
Aug 27, 2019
Screen Shot 2019-08-21 at 9.41.50 AM.png
Aug 21, 2019
Sitting in the Tension: Shocking Sorrow, Sweet Surprise, and Sacred Invitations
Aug 21, 2019
Aug 21, 2019
hush-naidoo-382152-unsplash.jpg
Feb 27, 2019
Pediatric Well-Checks and the Sovereign Care of God
Feb 27, 2019
Feb 27, 2019
IMG_5536.jpg
Oct 29, 2018
Blessed are the Poor in Spirit: Gospel Hope for the Moments We Look More Like Miss Trunchbull than Miss Honey
Oct 29, 2018
Oct 29, 2018
DSC_0398.JPG
Oct 6, 2018
On Guilt and Grief: Loving A Longing Sister In Your Season of Abundance
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018
DSC_5334.JPG
Sep 22, 2018
None are Good... Not Even My Toddler
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 22, 2018
DSC_9800.JPG
Sep 15, 2018
My Saturday Idol
Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018
M55786.jpg
Sep 8, 2018
Book Review: The Gospel Comes with a House Key
Sep 8, 2018
Sep 8, 2018
IMG_1537.jpg
Aug 14, 2018
"Safe" - Walt's Birth Story
Aug 14, 2018
Aug 14, 2018
DSC_9609.JPG
Jul 3, 2018
The Key to Savoring (vs. Suffocating) Fleeting Moments with Our Littles
Jul 3, 2018
Jul 3, 2018
DSC_0404.JPG
Jun 29, 2018
When Pregnancy Isn't Pretty: Hormones and Repentance
Jun 29, 2018
Jun 29, 2018
IMG_0157.jpg
Jun 7, 2018
Post-Partum Fear and the Fruit of the Spirit
Jun 7, 2018
Jun 7, 2018
IMG_0359.jpg
May 30, 2018
Potty Training, Shame, and the Gospel of Grace
May 30, 2018
May 30, 2018
IMG_1797-2.jpg
Apr 12, 2018
A Case for the Church Nursery
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018
_DSC0494.jpg
Mar 8, 2018
Identifying Real Danger in Pregnancy after Loss
Mar 8, 2018
Mar 8, 2018
image1.jpeg
Feb 9, 2018
"Always Something:" Embracing the Ever Changing Challenges of Motherhood
Feb 9, 2018
Feb 9, 2018
_DSC0453.jpg
Feb 2, 2018
Rethinking the Language of Pregnancy Announcements
Feb 2, 2018
Feb 2, 2018
Challenge.png
Jan 7, 2018
The 3-5 Method: engaging God's word when time and mental energy are scant
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018
Jan 2, 2018
2018: Word of the Year and Goals
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018
0D4_8017.jpg
Nov 21, 2017
My "Giving of Thanks" on a Miscarried Due Date
Nov 21, 2017
Nov 21, 2017
0D4_8826.jpg
Nov 9, 2017
Honest Answers for Painful Questions
Nov 9, 2017
Nov 9, 2017
0D4_8975.jpg
Oct 31, 2017
The Reformation Matters for Moms
Oct 31, 2017
Oct 31, 2017
The Wedgeworths_-42.jpg
Oct 12, 2017
Worship In Our Waiting: Thoughts on "Trying Again"
Oct 12, 2017
Oct 12, 2017
IMG_0163.JPG
Oct 8, 2017
The Cockpit and Control
Oct 8, 2017
Oct 8, 2017
IMG_8744.JPG
Aug 19, 2017
The Dishwasher and the Design for Discipleship
Aug 19, 2017
Aug 19, 2017
0D4_8941.jpg
Jul 20, 2017
"Should Be," "Would Be," and the Hope of What "Will Be"
Jul 20, 2017
Jul 20, 2017
Jun 22, 2017
Commiseration vs. Counsel
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017
image1.PNG
Jun 13, 2017
stuck.
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017
May 9, 2017
5 Sad Consequences of a Self Focused Mothers' Day
May 9, 2017
May 9, 2017
May 2, 2017
Songs For Worship in Disappointment, Pain, and Loss
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017

By SUBJECT...

  • God's Presence
  • PPD
  • bible
  • body image
  • breastfeeding
  • community
  • comparison
  • disappointment
  • discipleship
  • discipline
  • encouragement
  • envy
  • exhaustion
  • fatigue
  • fear
  • first time mom
  • friendship
  • infant loss
  • infertility
  • justification
  • marriage
  • miscarriage
  • newborn
  • prayer
  • sanctification
  • spiritual discipline
  • spirituality
  • stewardship
  • support
  • the first two weeks
  • worry

follow @Abbeywedgeworth on instagram for daily musings between posts

click the icon below:

Powered by Squarespace