Motherhood has made me question a lot of things, some more significant than others. On the lighter side, each December I wonder about the accuracy of the Christmas carol “Silent Night.” Did they really all “sleep in heavenly peace” that night? Could silence really exist in a stable full of animals with a newborn baby? I hope for Mary’s sake it’s true. But in my experience, sleep, silence, and peace are elusive for weeks and even months after the birth of a child.
In the midst of newborn exhaustion, my go-to comfort is food. If I can’t recharge my body with sleep, I try to fuel it with pizza and pastries. That plan worked all right for me with my first two sons. Though I had to stop eating dairy while nursing them, there were still plenty of yummy treats I could turn to. But when my third son came along with sensitivities to dairy, soy, nuts, eggs, and gluten, I found myself sleepless and starving.
There were many times in his first few months when I thought I physically could not go on. I struggled to find foods that would fill me and fuel me for chasing two rambunctious older boys while caring for an infant who only slept when held. The demands pushed me beyond the limits of what I thought my body could physically handle. I wasn’t just tired. I was weary.
In the midst of this period of exhaustion, I read the account of Jesus meeting the woman at the well in John 4, and a detail stood out to my tired mind that had never been particularly notable before. John says Jesus was sitting beside the well “wearied … from his journey” (John 4:6). Jesus was weary.The Greek word for “weary” there means to labor until worn-out, to be depleted—exhausted. Jesus’ human body was not immune to exhaustion. His work and ministry took a toll on him physically. He knows what it is to feel depleted.
And as the disciples sought to care for Jesus in his weariness, they turned to the same thing I would: food. They “were urging him, saying, ‘Rabbi, eat’” (John 4:31). Surely food was what he needed. Surely it was what Ineeded. But Jesus’ answer was surprising. He said, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work” (v. 34).
Do we need literal food to nourish our bodies? Absolutely, and Jesus affirmed the Father’s provision of that elsewhere (see Matt. 6:25–26). But here he spoke to another kind of food, a deeper nourishment. Jesus said that doing the Father’s will was his food. Accomplishing the Father’s work strengthened him and sustained him spiritually. The fact that Jesus answered the disciples’ desire to address his physical need by pointing to a spiritual reality is telling. Though we must care well for our bodies, our deeper need when we’re weary is spiritual nourishment.
And Jesus offers an unlikely solution for that need—doing the Father’s will, accomplishing the Father’s work. In the midst of my weariness in the newborn season, what I really wanted was permission to quit. But the truth I needed to hear was that the Lord would sustain and nourish me as I continued to do his will in serving my family.
As I nursed the baby at all hours of the night, I was fed. As I prepared meals and folded laundry and played Legos during the day, I was fed. The Lord brought me to the end of my physical strength to show me where the power for serving my family really comes from—and it’s not pizza and pastries. It’s his grace. As we do the Father’s will, he gives us the grace we need. We can be encouraged that “God is able to make all grace abound to [us], so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, [we] may abound in every good work” (2 Cor. 9:8).
I’m not convinced that “Silent Night”has it all right about Jesus’ birth. But this much is true: it was indeed “the dawn of redeeming grace.” In Christ, our weariness in motherhood is not lost or wasted. It is felt by our Savior who was born into a body like ours, capable of exhaustion. His body was depleted, even unto death. But praise the Lord, his physical body rose again in new life—life that he offers us in our weariness, day after day, night after night, by his redeeming grace.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION/ APPLICATION:
Winfree mentioned running to food in fatigue. What’s your go-to comfort when you’re exhausted in motherhood?
How might knowing that Jesus was weary and depleted change how you feel about your own exhaustion?
Can you think of an area of your life where the Lord might be calling you trust that he will feed you as you do his will, even though you’re weary? How might it look for you to find spiritual strength and nourishment in doing the Father’s will? What are some practical ways you might reach for him to fuel you in your weariness?
How can remembering that Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are physical realities encourage you in your physical struggles?
Winfree Brisley is the editor for Risen Motherhood and a contributor for The Gospel Coalition. She is a wife and mom to three boys living in Charlotte, North Carolina and enjoys sharing her love of scripture through writing and speaking.